Anyone who has been in a seriously crap-filled relationship knows that when you try to date again, it's like being a person without skin going into a room full of glass shards. We will be suspicious when you do super-nice things for us.
You feel super vulnerable and scared, and you act like a weirdo with new guys because you're just super off your game. Not because we don't want to do it sooner, but because our last relationship was with a nightmare monster from the sea, so we're always waiting for the shoe to drop. Especially if our last boyfriend would do super-nice things for us after treating us like crap.
Usually, he'll blame his problems on another woman or a previous spouse. Asking for a loan is a sign that he may see you as a cash machine rather than a real love interest.
I began to learn about things like boundaries, self-care, self-soothing, and honesty. I've read the book several times and even bought the audio book! Glover's dating and relationship podcasts and they continue to change my life.
Ironically enough, if you could take the best of those women and the best of those men, and place them in a big room where they could sit at a table and ask each other questions in person – you’d probably have 4 or 5 new match-ups by the end of the night. All they have to do is get online every day, sitting on their princess throne and file through the dozens or more profiles of men who have messaged them throughout the day.
The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.
That doesn't mean you should stop saying those things (because you should not stop!
), it just means it'll take a little while for them to absorb into our bloodstream like vital nutrients. We'll probably talk to you like we're in the CIA for a little bit.